I'm reading LOVE DHARMA by Geri Larkin.
We can do this. We see that the other person, like us, has both flowers and compost inside, and we accept this. Our practice is to water the floweress in her, and not bring her more garbage. We avoic blaming and arguing. When we try to grow flowers, if the flowers do not grow well, we do not blame or argue with them. We blame ourselves for not taking care of them well. Our partner is a flower. If we take care fo her well, she will grow beautifully. If we take care of her poorly, she will wither. To help a flower grow well, we must understand her nature. How much water does she need? how much sunshine? We look depply into ourselves to see our true nature, and we look into the other person to see her nature... We can sit down, hold our partner's hand, look deeply at him, and say, "Darling, do I understand you enough? Do i water you seeds of suffering? Do I water your seed of joy? Please tell me how i can love you better".
