OXFORD DICTIONARY'S LATEST DEFINITION OF THE FOLLOWING WORDS:
- Divorce : Future tense of marriage.
- Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.
- Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
- Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
- Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
- Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power
- Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.
- Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
- Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
- Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
- Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
- Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
- Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
- Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
- Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.
- Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
- Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
- Opportunist : A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
- Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See, I am not injured yet."
- Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
- Father : A banker provided by nature.
- Criminal : A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.
- Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
- Politician : One who shakes your hand before after.
- Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
